Monday, February 15, 2010

So Long, Farewell

Blogger, you were great, but now I've found more interest in Tumblr. So you can now follow me on (:

I'll Be Seeing You


The Notebook, a true love story. A classic. I'm overly obsessed with it. I think about how much I want to relate to it, but when really I can so much. Maybe not word for word, but there are similarities.

Oh how I wish I could go in the past and tell myself what i know now.

Heart Break:
great sorrow, grief, or anguish.
1575–85; heart + break

And now, I get to enjoy the lovely sad songs stuck in my head. Wonderful. But, I do have my friends next to me in every step I take, unlike last time, so this isn't going to be as bad. But I'm not saying it's good.

This was supposed to be the easy part
but breaking down is what I found hard
Now I'm wearing this smile that I don't believe in
Inside I feel like screaming

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day.

Friday, February 12, 2010

If You Can't Live Without Me, Then Why Aren't You Dead Yet


So anyone that knows me, knows that I'm nice. Well I'm too nice. And I absolutely hate that because I let people walk over me all the time. All my friends joke around with me and tell me that i need to punch people in the face to get meaner. But I would never want to hurt someone.

And another thing, my post secrets I was talking about in my last blog, someone answered them. This person said, "Post Secret #5: Shut up! Your pathetic!!" Thanks.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Yesterday We Had It All

I don't really know how to word this one, but I have some emotions stored up that need to come out.


I'm going to make a list of things that are on my mind, so here you go:

1. Ever since retreat, I've changed a lot. And today driving home from school-I pass mountains to get to my house- I saw a patch of grass that wasn't green, and it really bugged me. (that was random, but it all leads up to this next thing) And then instantly my next thought was, i want the rapture to occur right now. I though about what I said, and I was like, wow. Is that bad? Or is that good?

2. I've been very interested in Post Secrets, so I decided to write my own. But, I'm writing mine in the most random place, all over my desks at school, hoping someone would be able to answer them.

3. I'm upset, but almost content. And you know how when everything fails epically but there's always that one inch of hope? Well I'm relying on the hope to make everything better. But it's not working, so I'm almost ready to give up.

4. I don't really like this thing going on. This challenge, I'm 210% sure I can overcome it, I just don't want to. Because if I do, then that means change. I'm not looking for change, just happiness. But happiness isn't a destination, it's a way of travel. So I'm sort of out of options. But, change is good. Hopefully.

5. I don't want to go back to that person I used to be. I guess it's really time for me to let go.

6. And these lyrics have been stuck in my head all week:
"I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway"

Friday, February 5, 2010



I just got back from my winter retreat today, it was amazing. I wish it could have lasted longer. I tried out snowboarding and fell every single time and not i can't move my arms too much, I ran in the snow and chased my friends, I survived on ten hours of sleep, but most importantly, I improved my relationship with God.

We had Pastor Drew Brattrud as our speaker, and he spoke to us about being right for heaven. He has spoken many times at our school, but this time, it was different. He asked us, if we wanted to, to come forward and bow down to God. And I did, not caring about my friends thought. Eventually, all my friends ended up in the front sitting with me. Our principal told us that it was open mike after our pastor spoke, and so my own peers were up there, in front of everyone, speaking about there testimonies and expirences with God. Someone that really touched me was Brandon Harris. He talked about how he came from public school and grew up as a pastor's kid and how he didn't really care about God but still believed. Then he told us about how our Bible teacher talked to his class about being a Christian at one time and then another time just blowing it off. I related to that alot. And by that time, me and my three best friends were all holding each other and balling our eyes out. Many peple spoke about their lives and it made me understand why they are the way they are. I believe that so many people grew closer to Christ. So many people touched me that night, and I'm glad they did because it really changed me. I could tell that God's presence was there. It was amazing and I cannot wait untill next year.